The current environment is testing our levels of personal resilience, as individuals, teams, and leaders, as we all try and quickly learn to adapt to the significant enforced changes to both our work and home lives.
However, the crucial question is – how do we actually improve our personal resilience on a daily, sustainable basis, when things are so tough and hard to predict?
During this timely webinar, AIIR executive coach Dr. Geetu Bharwaney, CEO of Ei World, and author of the book “Emotional Resilience: Know What It Takes To Be Agile, Adaptable And Perform At Your Best” (Pearson, 2015), will engage in dialogue on the priority personal emotional resilience components to help us to evolve during the current pandemic.
Dr. Geetu Bharwaney will present the key components from her framework of Emotional Resilience that can play a crucial role in supporting our human ability to thrive at work and at home – all in the current context of COVID-19. The goal of this webinar is to accelerate our ability to be emotionally and mentally well, our personal resilience, and our capability to reinvent ourselves authentically during this richly opportune moment for personal growth.
As a seasoned C-Suite executive coach and senior consultant of AIIR, Dr. Geetu Bharwaney works with leaders who are critical to the success of today’s organizations. She partners with executives, senior managers and those on the flight path for future leadership, developing leadership capabilities, cultivating deeper strategic thinking, and enhancing abilities to connect with and influence stakeholders and their teams.
Geetu draws on her considerable experience gained from 28 years of coaching leaders and top teams. She has served as a Coach, Team Coach, Executive Coach, and Assessor of Coaching Programs and brings valuable insights on the topic of our human development.
Geetu is Founder and Managing Director of Ei World, a strategic partner of AIIR and her company was set up to accelerate the individual development of leaders, as well as how leaders operate within executive teams.
The following is an automatically generated transcript from Zoom. It is provided for your convenience.
1 00:00:04.710 –> 00:00:19.830 Jonathan Kirschner: Good morning, good afternoon, good evening to everyone out there. Welcome to our webinar today. I’m Jonathan Kirshner the founder and CEO of air consulting and I’m here with my colleague, Dr. Geetu Bharwaney joining us from her home office in London.
2 00:00:21.810 –> 00:00:32.490 Jonathan Kirschner: For those of you who are joining us if you wouldn’t mind just sharing your name and where you’re from. We’d love to get a sense for who’s on this call.
3 00:00:33.990 –> 00:00:52.110 Jonathan Kirschner: And it’s, it’s no doubt been a tough week and and there’s no doubt that we have some more challenges ahead those challenges range from the obvious health crisis and financial and economic devastation.
4 00:00:53.130 –> 00:01:01.320 Jonathan Kirschner: But also to sort of how rapidly we’ve had to adapt to this new normal. That’s so dramatically different than anything we’re used to.
5 00:01:02.670 –> 00:01:10.830 Jonathan Kirschner: But something that’s easy to forget amidst all over this is how we’re doing ourselves, how are we doing in our own emotional lives.
6 00:01:12.690 –> 00:01:21.330 Jonathan Kirschner: I met de to borrow money around 10 years ago we were both exploring ways of engaging executive coaching through video conferencing ironically
7 00:01:21.780 –> 00:01:33.480 Jonathan Kirschner: At that time, which was somewhat new and and we jelled immediately Geetu who’s been a senior level executive coach and team coach for air since then.
8 00:01:34.020 –> 00:01:44.070 Jonathan Kirschner: And she’s also a dear friend and colleague. He is also the founder of AI world a premier global leadership firm.
9 00:01:44.400 –> 00:02:00.240 Jonathan Kirschner: With particular expertise in all things, emotion, so emotional intelligence emotional resilience specifically. She’s also a prolific writer. I’ve got two of her books. This is the Hebrew version of emotional intelligence.
10 00:02:01.710 –> 00:02:11.340 Jonathan Kirschner: emotionally intelligent living and and also we have her more recent book emotional resilience, which we’re going to really dig into today.
11 00:02:11.760 –> 00:02:20.790 Jonathan Kirschner: So, Geetu. It’s such a pleasure to have you. Thank you so much for your generosity and offering this webinar and sharing your expertise and I’m going to turn it over to you. Thank you.
12 00:02:21.840 –> 00:02:38.520 Geetu Bharwaney: Thank you so much. Jonathan for that lovely introduction. And it’s great to see that Hebrew Book, I’ve not seen that one for some years. And it’s my great pleasure to be here today with all of you in these completely unprecedented times and
13 00:02:39.660 –> 00:02:52.020 Geetu Bharwaney: I feel that, you know, this is an important webinar in an important time and I’m very keen to offer you my perspectives on this topic of emotional resilience
14 00:02:52.470 –> 00:03:04.920 Geetu Bharwaney: So what we’ve decided to do is in the first half. I’m going to share a perspective on how we could be living and working in the crisis that we’re in.
15 00:03:05.340 –> 00:03:15.750 Geetu Bharwaney: And then the second half. We’d like to open it up to reflections from you. So we want to invite you to think about this as a reflective
16 00:03:16.110 –> 00:03:26.040 Geetu Bharwaney: Webinar. There’s a lot of content out there today. A lot of material going out and kind of one way communication, but we really want to engage
17 00:03:26.430 –> 00:03:35.430 Geetu Bharwaney: You in this reflection with us today, so that we can use this experience to support and help each other at this important time
18 00:03:35.820 –> 00:03:48.960 Geetu Bharwaney: So we’re going to be pausing for 60 to 90 seconds at certain points in the next 30 minutes and I want to encourage you to jot things down as we go. And that’s going to help set us up for success.
19 00:03:49.560 –> 00:04:00.720 Geetu Bharwaney: So as Jonathan said, I’ve been in the air team nearly 10 years now a very proud member of the air team. And I also want to say that
20 00:04:01.290 –> 00:04:13.320 Geetu Bharwaney: On this topic of emotional resilience. I’ve learned most about it through my inexperience of trial and error. So I’m definitely a work in progress on this topic on a daily basis.
21 00:04:13.830 –> 00:04:27.210 Geetu Bharwaney: And I would say that my best coaches my two year old son he keeps me centered grounded and with a clear purpose on a everyday kind of basis and keeps me honest.
22 00:04:27.630 –> 00:04:40.770 Geetu Bharwaney: About the things that I’m doing well on my end resilience and also the things to work on. So with that said, I want to start by saying a few things about the topic, as I understand it.
23 00:04:41.250 –> 00:04:49.110 Geetu Bharwaney: So a lot of people talk about emotional resilience is about, you know, bouncing back and I’ve never really seen it that way.
24 00:04:49.530 –> 00:04:59.520 Geetu Bharwaney: I see this as something that is about the choices that we make and the choices that we make consistently and I’ll be coming back to that theme in a moment.
25 00:04:59.910 –> 00:05:13.830 Geetu Bharwaney: I also see it as the inner work that is going on. So it’s very easy to be deceived by the outward appearances that we have, you know, not different roles. But I think this topic is very much the inner work.
26 00:05:14.130 –> 00:05:22.680 Geetu Bharwaney: The inner reflective work that we do as leaders as parents as professionals and it’s also about a holistic approach. This isn’t about
27 00:05:23.040 –> 00:05:33.720 Geetu Bharwaney: Having a persona at work in a different person or at home. And of course, today, they’re all kind of meshed together, but this is about, you know, taking a holistic approach to
28 00:05:34.800 –> 00:05:40.620 Geetu Bharwaney: To what we’re doing and I believe that this topic matters most today.
29 00:05:41.730 –> 00:05:48.120 Geetu Bharwaney: And I wanted to just, you know, quickly call out to colleagues that actually started our webinar series.
30 00:05:48.600 –> 00:05:57.540 Geetu Bharwaney: So, two weeks ago, my colleagues, Vanessa nap did a session on leadership in times of crisis, and she really set the stage.
31 00:05:57.870 –> 00:06:06.150 Geetu Bharwaney: For what we’re going to be talking about today. She talked about courage compassion and candor three important leadership qualities
32 00:06:06.510 –> 00:06:19.830 Geetu Bharwaney: And my other colleague and add Dave gloss has been doing daily mindfulness, you know, as a great practice to support you know our clients and colleagues, so I wanted. Now jump into
33 00:06:20.790 –> 00:06:35.070 Geetu Bharwaney: What Today’s webinar is about. So we’re going to be focusing on three of the components that are in my framework for emotional intelligence and these components. We’re going to come to shortly and
34 00:06:35.610 –> 00:06:43.770 Geetu Bharwaney: All of that is in the context of this framework that I built back in 2014 and it was published in 2015
35 00:06:44.340 –> 00:06:51.870 Geetu Bharwaney: And if you look at the definition on the right here. And this is particularly relevant in the pandemic that we’re, we’re in today.
36 00:06:52.770 –> 00:07:06.030 Geetu Bharwaney: I see the choices that we’re making as absolutely crucial for our ability to survive. So it’s about choosing the thoughts, feelings and actions that will enable us to perform at our best
37 00:07:06.450 –> 00:07:17.670 Geetu Bharwaney: And with that said, and if you look at the framework to the left here I’ve distinguished at the top essentials that are essential aspects of self awareness.
38 00:07:18.120 –> 00:07:28.950 Geetu Bharwaney: From skills that are emotion based skills that we can learn and that we can teach from results that affect how we show up with others. So in other words,
39 00:07:29.340 –> 00:07:43.560 Geetu Bharwaney: And the choices we make affect our ability to survive everyday life. And there are continuous choices that influence how we behave, how we act and how we react.
40 00:07:44.100 –> 00:07:51.720 Geetu Bharwaney: So I want to start before we go further, I want to share a quick story about how this whole body of work came about. So
41 00:07:52.170 –> 00:08:01.890 Geetu Bharwaney: It was 2014 and the situation that I was in was, you know, with a family member in the hospital life threatening illness.
42 00:08:02.430 –> 00:08:08.430 Geetu Bharwaney: And I had a call from the telegraph saying that they were running a piece on emotional resilience next day.
43 00:08:08.880 –> 00:08:15.840 Geetu Bharwaney: And could I give like a few words and it had to be priority right now. Right now, I’m sure some of you have had those sorts of calls
44 00:08:16.410 –> 00:08:29.220 Geetu Bharwaney: And I found myself in that moment, just, you know, being pretty articulate and this is what I said. And lo and behold, they actually published for the first time ever spoken to.
45 00:08:30.060 –> 00:08:35.190 Geetu Bharwaney: A journalist at that time. Exactly what I said, and this is what I said on that day and
46 00:08:35.610 –> 00:08:45.270 Geetu Bharwaney: I think to me the key thing was that I saw this as a holistic topic at the beginning, but I also saw that a lot of the issues that I was hearing as a cage.
47 00:08:46.020 –> 00:08:55.200 Geetu Bharwaney: There was always emotional content in the everything. And that really got me interested in what could we actually bring forth that would help people.
48 00:08:55.530 –> 00:09:02.880 Geetu Bharwaney: So that’s how this all came about. It was published on that day 25th of February. I got a book commission in that same week
49 00:09:03.300 –> 00:09:13.710 Geetu Bharwaney: From the publisher that read that piece. So let’s go further and, you know, the way that I think about this. Now, all these years on, is that
50 00:09:14.220 –> 00:09:21.690 Geetu Bharwaney: The framework that I’ve just shown you is like growing tomatoes. So it’s like the frame. It’s the cage.
51 00:09:22.170 –> 00:09:31.350 Geetu Bharwaney: That we establish first. It’s the framework for everyday life. And then what we do on a daily basis as we nurture it continuously
52 00:09:31.680 –> 00:09:43.170 Geetu Bharwaney: We check the daily conditions we check the temperature we think through what’s actually happened that was expected unexpected and then we use that to actually nurture.
53 00:09:43.890 –> 00:10:01.920 Geetu Bharwaney: ourselves and others to be effective in our everyday lives. So the me. That’s kind of like really grounded me in important and you know started growing vegetables in this current time. You just never know what is, you know, around the corner. So from that.
54 00:10:03.120 –> 00:10:09.300 Geetu Bharwaney: Let’s go further, I mentioned about this thing a reflective experience today.
55 00:10:10.170 –> 00:10:16.620 Geetu Bharwaney: And, you know, there’s a famous quote by john Dewey, which I would add to what what’s on the slide here.
56 00:10:17.070 –> 00:10:24.120 Geetu Bharwaney: And he said that we don’t learn from experience, we actually learn from reflecting on experience.
57 00:10:24.570 –> 00:10:36.120 Geetu Bharwaney: And I think that you know as coaches, you know, we’re taught to bring reflective practice to everyday, everyday context of coaching that I think this self reflection is actually
58 00:10:36.600 –> 00:10:47.820 Geetu Bharwaney: What’s kind of missing. It’s what I see really missing. I mean, Dave, you know, with the mindfulness practice did a really great job of actually bringing that self reflective self.
59 00:10:48.300 –> 00:11:01.140 Geetu Bharwaney: On a daily basis. But I think this is something that is really key for us being able to look at ourselves understand our behavior and actually make those small adjustments.
60 00:11:01.560 –> 00:11:12.990 Geetu Bharwaney: That will help us be effective. So let’s go further into the details. So in short, and the three steps are know who we are.
61 00:11:13.440 –> 00:11:25.080 Geetu Bharwaney: And that comes from those six essentials. In other words we use those to understand what’s the default that we have from a young age on each of these six things
62 00:11:25.710 –> 00:11:38.550 Geetu Bharwaney: And therefore, where do we need to adjust ourselves and in order to adjust. We need these five emotion based skills which we can teach from a young age, we can we can learn from a fairly young age.
63 00:11:38.970 –> 00:11:48.720 Geetu Bharwaney: And we then show up powerfully in the way that we connect with others through our energy through our ability to thrive through our influence of stakeholders.
64 00:11:49.140 –> 00:12:03.960 Geetu Bharwaney: And our connection. And this is basically the model that we use in the air and in EI well to actually explain what an individual leader or an individual professional an individual contributor
65 00:12:04.650 –> 00:12:27.510 Geetu Bharwaney: Can actually practically work on. So today what I’ve done is I picked out from those 15 components of emotional resilience and the three specific ones which from our own data over the last year from a specific emotional resilience self awareness tool.
66 00:12:28.620 –> 00:12:36.240 Geetu Bharwaney: We’ve looked at data from leaders in various projects and what we’ve seen is that what’s distinctive
67 00:12:36.750 –> 00:12:42.360 Geetu Bharwaney: About the leaders that are rated really strong on their ability to build followership
68 00:12:42.960 –> 00:12:49.380 Geetu Bharwaney: Is the three aspects of emotional resilience all together. So that’s really what we’re going to focus on
69 00:12:49.860 –> 00:12:55.710 Geetu Bharwaney: And I think the key thing here is when you combine them, just to give you the key headline right at the start.
70 00:12:56.310 –> 00:13:05.670 Geetu Bharwaney: In the context of the pandemic today. It’s this combination of being able to understand where we need to self regulate
71 00:13:06.390 –> 00:13:20.430 Geetu Bharwaney: Combined with the ability to maintain our energy levels and hopefully increase our energy levels in the service of of what we’re trying to do, but at the same time express concerns.
72 00:13:20.880 –> 00:13:35.730 Geetu Bharwaney: And views about what’s going on in a productive and constructive way. So that’s what I think is our challenge as individuals, as leaders and that’s where we’re going in what we’re sharing today with the first thing
73 00:13:37.650 –> 00:13:49.200 Geetu Bharwaney: Is absolutely crucial. And it’s really the starting point for all of this. I mentioned choice and the definition, but I wanted to go further than that definition and to say that
74 00:13:49.620 –> 00:14:02.370 Geetu Bharwaney: This notion now is actually choosing you know who we want to be what we want to be and how we want to actually be known is absolutely crucial to kind of master.
75 00:14:02.820 –> 00:14:14.010 Geetu Bharwaney: And there are two specific reflections linked with that we want to actually start with, and this is the first sort of like, you know, 92nd kind of reflection. So I’m going to
76 00:14:14.430 –> 00:14:25.170 Geetu Bharwaney: set you up for that and then encourage you to write something down on this. So this specific reflection is about creating a very specific summary.
77 00:14:25.650 –> 00:14:43.080 Geetu Bharwaney: Of who we are as an individual. And it’s really about a focusing exercise that helps us to think through how we want to handle the current pandemic that we are in. So identity is in three words.
78 00:14:44.790 –> 00:14:58.770 Geetu Bharwaney: How we are as an individual. So I might say my identity is I’m someone who is pioneering authentic and challenging if there are any three words to describe me
79 00:14:59.460 –> 00:15:07.230 Geetu Bharwaney: That’s what seems to come through when I’ve done 360 feedback when I’ve asked people for direct feedback about who I am.
80 00:15:07.830 –> 00:15:19.200 Geetu Bharwaney: And there are costs and benefits of the three words. So I want, I want to encourage you to write down three words that would describe you uniqueness is the single word.
81 00:15:19.770 –> 00:15:31.830 Geetu Bharwaney: That describes what you’re bringing to every interaction. So the unique can the uniqueness that I wrote down. And again, as it’s, you know, for me, it’s kind of insight.
82 00:15:32.220 –> 00:15:44.070 Geetu Bharwaney: The unique ability that I’m bringing to everything I’m doing is insight and no more than one word and it can’t be a rude word either
83 00:15:45.120 –> 00:15:55.290 Geetu Bharwaney: And purpose is a simple sentence which describes what you’re trying to do in all of the different roles that you plan live
84 00:15:56.130 –> 00:16:05.640 Geetu Bharwaney: So I would say something like, you know, my purpose is to use my insight to help people evolve, you know, at the highest level. That’s the highest purpose that I would say
85 00:16:05.910 –> 00:16:18.630 Geetu Bharwaney: Today, so 90 seconds for you to think about. I know this is big work, but I want to encourage you to write something down and be willing, potentially, to put it in the chat later on when we open up the chat again.
86 00:17:07.980 –> 00:17:16.740 Geetu Bharwaney: Use this is I use it as a coaching tool and we’ve we’ve also got this in the resources that we’re going to share later on the resource link.
87 00:17:17.760 –> 00:17:27.570 Geetu Bharwaney: But I also use it as a personal decision tool on a daily basis, you know, friend calls and says, do you want to jump on you know a Hangout that we’re doing later on at 8pm
88 00:17:27.930 –> 00:17:41.490 Geetu Bharwaney: And I use this as a decision tool about, you know, where is my energy going to be best served. What is it that I need to actually use my energy for how am I going to use my strength, but I want to go.
89 00:17:42.030 –> 00:17:50.280 Geetu Bharwaney: To the next part of this, which is asking ourselves, what is the highest use of my talents and competencies
90 00:17:50.820 –> 00:17:59.820 Geetu Bharwaney: So there’s an exercise again in the very first chapter of my book, which will also put in the resources where I encourage you to write down
91 00:18:00.300 –> 00:18:15.690 Geetu Bharwaney: statements about what you can do what you are, what your strengths are, what you’re able to do and in the example that I’ll be sharing in those resources. I think there are 60 or 70 statements from a single leader.
92 00:18:16.140 –> 00:18:22.260 Geetu Bharwaney: When they did that exercise and they gave permission for that to be shared with others, that would work through it.
93 00:18:22.650 –> 00:18:36.390 Geetu Bharwaney: But the idea is that we’re asking this question because we obviously can’t do everything. And we’re so bombarded with information right now. So it’s really about saying, what is it that we need to do and what do we need to actually
94 00:18:37.500 –> 00:18:49.170 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, use our higher self for but the specific affirmations and I want to encourage you to write down at least 10 like 10 things that you’re really good at.
95 00:18:50.040 –> 00:18:59.970 Geetu Bharwaney: 10 things that describe your signature strengths that you can really think about how you leverage those right now in the current crisis that we’re in.
96 00:19:52.140 –> 00:19:59.250 Geetu Bharwaney: So moving on from that and again later on we’ll be hearing when we open things up in the second part. So,
97 00:19:59.640 –> 00:20:07.740 Geetu Bharwaney: I wanted to dive into the three different emotional resilience components that I mentioned at the start. So I love this image.
98 00:20:08.310 –> 00:20:16.830 Geetu Bharwaney: About self control, you know, the kid was steam coming out of both ears, and I have to say that this one.
99 00:20:17.280 –> 00:20:32.100 Geetu Bharwaney: Is the single emotional resilience component that I’ve noticed and leaders making transitions at each step. This is the one that a number of leaders like master in order to progress to the next level.
100 00:20:32.610 –> 00:20:42.810 Geetu Bharwaney: And with this self control my definition of it is that it’s the combination of what’s going on on the inside and what showing on the outside and both have to be controlled.
101 00:20:43.230 –> 00:20:52.890 Geetu Bharwaney: Because I found that if one is controlled and one isn’t. So I’m controlled on the outside, but I’m not on the inside. It’s actually not an authentic way.
102 00:20:53.460 –> 00:21:02.580 Geetu Bharwaney: And we will under pressure default to the least self control. So with that, I’ve got three questions for you.
103 00:21:02.970 –> 00:21:11.760 Geetu Bharwaney: And the first one is about, you know, what are the impulses that you’re needing to curb right now in order to stay healthy.
104 00:21:12.210 –> 00:21:17.550 Geetu Bharwaney: And, you know, for some people that I’ve been talking to you over the last couple of weeks. It’s about, you know,
105 00:21:18.390 –> 00:21:26.280 Geetu Bharwaney: curbing the desire to eat and graze all day when you’re close to a kitchen, you know, in your own home for some people it’s about that.
106 00:21:26.670 –> 00:21:42.480 Geetu Bharwaney: I know that for me, it’s about the compulsion to tune into the knees too much and I find that if I tune in for longer than about 20 minutes at a time. I’m just totally my mood goes down. I can’t, I can’t actually handle it.
107 00:21:43.500 –> 00:21:49.560 Geetu Bharwaney: But I can also see that for some people it’s like, and people have reported this in the last few days that
108 00:21:49.950 –> 00:21:58.980 Geetu Bharwaney: They’re in like compulsive talking or compulsive doing, you know, calling everybody to check their okay but doing that several times a day. So
109 00:21:59.310 –> 00:22:09.990 Geetu Bharwaney: I just want to encourage you to take 90 seconds to write down what are the things that you might need to cut what impulses to help you stay healthy right now.
110 00:22:53.940 –> 00:22:56.070 Geetu Bharwaney: Okay, moving on.
111 00:22:57.420 –> 00:23:05.670 Geetu Bharwaney: My next question on on self control is what opportunities do you have right now to grow your self control.
112 00:23:06.240 –> 00:23:13.860 Geetu Bharwaney: And a number of people have shared with me that that they’re doing a lot of different, you know, learning activities joining different webinars.
113 00:23:14.340 –> 00:23:24.510 Geetu Bharwaney: But I’m curious about what what you’re actually, you know what opportunities you have so I can tell you that, personally, right now I’m finding that
114 00:23:25.770 –> 00:23:38.340 Geetu Bharwaney: I’m not a naturally good planner, but I’m finding in the pandemic. I’m actually doing more planning and that’s working really well so sitting down every Sunday. Looking at the week ahead.
115 00:23:38.970 –> 00:23:47.520 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, talking with you know my husband as well what’s coming up. How we going to manage things. What are the needs for self care.
116 00:23:47.880 –> 00:23:58.770 Geetu Bharwaney: What are the work needs. What are the socializing needs. What are going to be the unexpected things and actually starting the week I think about MIT’s most important tasks.
117 00:23:59.190 –> 00:24:14.700 Geetu Bharwaney: For the week ahead. And for me that planning is a really important like time to practice self control some curious about, you know, 90 seconds and Jonathan, I don’t know if you want to add anything yourself on any of these, feel free to jump on
118 00:24:14.700 –> 00:24:29.130 Jonathan Kirschner: You know, one of the things that strikes me with with self control. First of all, I have the cheat sheet here I’ve got the book and I see that that stuff controls in the essentials. And I’d love the the tomato.
119 00:24:30.090 –> 00:24:41.880 Jonathan Kirschner: The structure and the scaffolding and how if you got that in place, it can allow for that the tomato to really blossom and as a gardener myself. There’s three things I love hockey.
120 00:24:42.390 –> 00:24:48.750 Jonathan Kirschner: gardening and BBQ two of the three, I can still do it closed down the ice, ice skating rink here.
121 00:24:49.710 –> 00:25:03.300 Jonathan Kirschner: But as a as an avid tomato grower, I can attest to to this being a truth, but I would love to just is when, when you think of self control do you link it back to that metaphor. Do you see that as sort of like this structure.
122 00:25:03.660 –> 00:25:20.310 Geetu Bharwaney: Absolutely, I see it as the everyday monitoring of the conditions, because I think there’s a lot in human development. That’s the kind of once and done thing, you know, you learn it and you’ve got it. But I think this is really about the everyday. You know, the monitoring that
123 00:25:20.400 –> 00:25:26.610 Geetu Bharwaney: just tweaking and I think tomatoes, you know, is a great. It’s a great metaphor, a great athlete.
124 00:25:27.600 –> 00:25:35.670 Jonathan Kirschner: I think you know when we’re when we’re all coming to the office, there’s certain heuristics and structures and whether it’s regular meetings.
125 00:25:36.510 –> 00:25:44.970 Jonathan Kirschner: Or office. There’s different things that impose that structure almost passively. And now we’re all sort of working from home.
126 00:25:45.300 –> 00:25:56.760 Jonathan Kirschner: And you’re struggling to keep up and everything, but I think we, you know, need to take a step back and actually think of what is structure look like in this new environment that we’re in right now.
127 00:25:57.270 –> 00:26:05.070 Geetu Bharwaney: Absolutely. So moving on from that. And as I said, we’ll hear from everybody. And you know as much as they can later on.
128 00:26:05.430 –> 00:26:12.360 Geetu Bharwaney: So third question. Final question the segment. If you could focus your attention 100% for the highest benefit.
129 00:26:13.020 –> 00:26:17.940 Geetu Bharwaney: Right now you know in this pandemic, what would you be spending your time doing
130 00:26:18.750 –> 00:26:29.610 Geetu Bharwaney: And you know this is a question in our I’ve been been bringing this question in all the different forums, you know that I’m In I sing in a women’s choir locally, which has now moved online.
131 00:26:30.000 –> 00:26:43.770 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, just really asking, you know what, what is the you know what we each need to be doing. And I’m finding in my own life that actually the focus becomes a lot more local in terms of, you know,
132 00:26:44.280 –> 00:26:55.170 Geetu Bharwaney: Are there vulnerable people in my neighborhood. You know, I’ve always known all the neighbors around where I live. But now it’s taken on a different significance, like what is that now mean
133 00:26:56.340 –> 00:27:04.980 Geetu Bharwaney: But you know, it’s going to be different for different people, you know, what’s the highest benefit doing things like this webinar to me was like when Jonathan said, you know, what about this. I was like, yes.
134 00:27:05.400 –> 00:27:12.570 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, this is absolutely something for highest benefit you know that you know is something that whatever gives you energy
135 00:27:13.140 –> 00:27:21.150 Geetu Bharwaney: And it’s going to be the right so we’re gonna, I’m not going to pause the 90 seconds on that question that I want to encourage you to
136 00:27:21.540 –> 00:27:34.170 Geetu Bharwaney: Think back to the other things you’ve written and use those to think about what could be for highest benefit. So I’d like to move on because we got two more. These are going to be slightly briefer
137 00:27:35.580 –> 00:27:39.810 Geetu Bharwaney: With energy. And I love this topic of energy because
138 00:27:41.220 –> 00:27:47.190 Geetu Bharwaney: I’m a cancer survivor who is now 16 years in remission and
139 00:27:47.820 –> 00:28:01.260 Geetu Bharwaney: Energy was a topic that I never used to think about and I never used to think about renewal and performance as like two sides of the same equation. So to me, energy is basically about, you know, aligning
140 00:28:01.770 –> 00:28:11.730 Geetu Bharwaney: Our motivation attention and attitude. In other words, if we’re highly motivated. We also want high attention and we want to bring you know the best
141 00:28:12.210 –> 00:28:21.990 Geetu Bharwaney: The best attitude that we can bring to what we’re actually delivering and it’s so easy to let one of those three things slip in our energy I’ve certainly seen this, you know,
142 00:28:22.440 –> 00:28:33.390 Geetu Bharwaney: And so wherever our energy is today, I want to encourage you to reflect on, you know, what’s your energy light today. And what’s creating the level of energy that you have
143 00:28:33.960 –> 00:28:40.170 Geetu Bharwaney: And, and, you know, to really think deeper about this, you know, I went back to really ancient
144 00:28:40.500 –> 00:28:48.990 Geetu Bharwaney: theory about the link between emotion and performance, which has really served and informed my work and emotional intelligence over the years.
145 00:28:49.470 –> 00:28:54.630 Geetu Bharwaney: And to Canadian psychologists Yankees and Dodson came up with the stress of
146 00:28:55.140 –> 00:29:05.580 Geetu Bharwaney: In terms of understanding that, you know, we need just the right amount of stress in order to operate in our sweet spot to operate at the optimal level.
147 00:29:05.790 –> 00:29:10.590 Geetu Bharwaney: To little stress and we’re not going to bring enough energy too much stress. We’re going to get into anxiety.
148 00:29:11.100 –> 00:29:20.340 Geetu Bharwaney: And, you know, I’ve talked to a lot of clients, you know, in the last couple of weeks of, you know, commented that like the level of underlying anxiety is so high.
149 00:29:20.940 –> 00:29:32.430 Geetu Bharwaney: That you know they’re needing like tools to actually get back on to Central balance. And I think the key thing with this is that there are two central questions that I would encourage
150 00:29:33.420 –> 00:29:37.890 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, everybody on this call to actually just take a moment to think about
151 00:29:38.850 –> 00:29:48.840 Geetu Bharwaney: So, you know, what’s actually giving you energy right now. Um, what’s draining your energy. I gave the example earlier of like watching too much news.
152 00:29:49.260 –> 00:29:59.070 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, there’s all kinds of things, you know, that are draining energy for me right now. I mean, was giving me energy is making some tough decisions.
153 00:30:00.060 –> 00:30:11.970 Geetu Bharwaney: About things, you know, friend called me a few days ago, she’s working in the front line of the current a virus pandemic as a medical doctor and
154 00:30:12.600 –> 00:30:20.520 Geetu Bharwaney: She asked us, you know, my husband and I, we would actually be named and her. Well, in case you know anything happens to her.
155 00:30:21.000 –> 00:30:30.210 Geetu Bharwaney: And the thing is, it’s like in that moment you like, wow, it’s a big decision but you actually know that there’s like, there’s the right answer straight away.
156 00:30:30.690 –> 00:30:41.220 Geetu Bharwaney: Because it’s something really important. So for me, like making critical decisions on a moment by moment basis is actually giving me energy because it’s getting me really clear.
157 00:30:41.610 –> 00:30:57.030 Geetu Bharwaney: But just for fun. And one of our clients gave us permission to share her specific energy audit that she did recently. And this is the totally unedited
158 00:30:57.900 –> 00:31:12.660 Geetu Bharwaney: List that she wrote down and gave you no permission to share this as one example of this. But the key thing about it is that actually writing it down starts to
159 00:31:13.200 –> 00:31:16.860 Geetu Bharwaney: Focus our attention on what we need to do differently.
160 00:31:17.760 –> 00:31:28.230 Geetu Bharwaney: How we need to actually build in more of the things that are going to give us energy, but also reduce some of the things that are draining our energy
161 00:31:28.620 –> 00:31:43.290 Geetu Bharwaney: And I definitely want to encourage you to, you know, create your own list in relation to what you’re experiencing day to day it’s it’s certainly not not an easy time but I think this is more important than ever before.
162 00:31:44.280 –> 00:31:58.530 Geetu Bharwaney: So maybe just take a couple of moments. I’ll get back to the previous one to just think about what you’re actually what’s giving you energy right now and I’m just going to time. A quick 90 seconds on that.
163 00:33:13.380 –> 00:33:22.830 Geetu Bharwaney: I meant to say earlier sorry for the unpolitical e correct list that I shed there in the UK. We talked about political correctness all time.
164 00:33:23.340 –> 00:33:31.530 Geetu Bharwaney: And I just wanted to, you know, be able to share very authentic you know experience I’m finding that
165 00:33:32.010 –> 00:33:38.250 Geetu Bharwaney: There are many things right now that it, you know, giving me a lot of energy singing is the real passion of mine so
166 00:33:39.030 –> 00:33:50.040 Geetu Bharwaney: I’ve appreciated all the different online choirs that different, you know, colleagues have shared over the last few weeks, and we’ve also put some of those in the resources that will be sharing
167 00:33:50.520 –> 00:34:00.300 Geetu Bharwaney: So a way to think about this, this whole topic of energy is, you know, being the best version of you. So, you know, my, my belief is that
168 00:34:00.780 –> 00:34:08.940 Geetu Bharwaney: When we are working all the time, or were kind of in overdrive. And you know as high achievers. This is very easy to get into the button on the left.
169 00:34:09.360 –> 00:34:21.540 Geetu Bharwaney: Is about we spend a lot of our energy at work. If we’ve got anything left over that might go to friends we socialize with and then our family, loved ones and ourselves get deeper ties in the bigger mix.
170 00:34:22.110 –> 00:34:30.630 Geetu Bharwaney: But I think that there’s a real opportunity in this pandemic to really think about self care as an underpinning
171 00:34:31.710 –> 00:34:38.730 Geetu Bharwaney: With wisdom and practice in order to be our best selves to problem solve the very big problems that
172 00:34:39.240 –> 00:34:49.860 Geetu Bharwaney: We’re dealing with in the world today because I see that the current crisis is more of a crisis of emotion that we haven’t actually figured out
173 00:34:50.280 –> 00:34:55.950 Geetu Bharwaney: How to problem solve and how to actually really make sense of what’s really happening.
174 00:34:56.370 –> 00:35:08.910 Geetu Bharwaney: So to me, you know, this priority to self that is something I learned you know in my late 30s when I was going through cancer treatment and it was something that I changed, like literally overnight and
175 00:35:09.840 –> 00:35:19.320 Geetu Bharwaney: I think that would be my kind of ideal. So a final one, which is about expressing and with this topic of expressing
176 00:35:19.830 –> 00:35:39.960 Geetu Bharwaney: And it came through in the research that we did last year, but it also is specifically about being fluent at communicating feelings and concerns accurately and unambiguously and constructively. And the key thing here is, and I want to give you an example of this is that
177 00:35:41.160 –> 00:35:47.760 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, there are all these rules around lockdown and all of our different countries and, you know, a key question.
178 00:35:48.120 –> 00:36:00.270 Geetu Bharwaney: That I’m constantly, you know, asking myself is, what do you do if somebody’s not following the rules, you know, call them and just tell them what do you do, and I had a situation 10 days ago where
179 00:36:00.780 –> 00:36:12.840 Geetu Bharwaney: I found out that a close friend had the coronavirus but she didn’t want to tell anybody because she was embarrassed and she didn’t want people to be fearful of her because she’d been around a lot of people
180 00:36:13.590 –> 00:36:19.800 Geetu Bharwaney: And so, you know, you can’t really make that you can’t really express to her in an angry way.
181 00:36:20.460 –> 00:36:30.240 Geetu Bharwaney: That it’s not the right thing to not tell people, so I think this time is really bringing up the importance of, you know, expressing concerns.
182 00:36:30.780 –> 00:36:36.060 Geetu Bharwaney: And I’ve got three specific questions here that you may want to reflect on so
183 00:36:36.480 –> 00:36:45.060 Geetu Bharwaney: The first is really, you know, what are your central concerns about the people around you particularly your loved ones that people close to you work.
184 00:36:45.660 –> 00:36:51.210 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, at this time, I know that I’ve got a number of friends, you know, and colleagues that live alone.
185 00:36:51.690 –> 00:37:01.290 Geetu Bharwaney: And you know that’s something that’s really, in my mind, and trying to check in with people you know that live on their own and check the, you know, you’re providing support.
186 00:37:01.590 –> 00:37:07.410 Geetu Bharwaney: But just ask yourself, you know, what are the central concerns that you have about the people around you.
187 00:37:07.830 –> 00:37:13.050 Geetu Bharwaney: But also how might you express those concerns in a way that’s going to be constructive.
188 00:37:13.470 –> 00:37:27.720 Geetu Bharwaney: And I think, you know, I talked about this in my book under expressing but there’s two key things you know making requests and also letting go of the outcome. I think these are two key things around being able to
189 00:37:28.110 –> 00:37:33.090 Geetu Bharwaney: express concerns for other people in a way that’s constructive. So with that, friend.
190 00:37:33.540 –> 00:37:45.030 Geetu Bharwaney: I was able to make a request, but then I had to let it go. And I actually said had to say to at the end of conversation is completely up to you what you do, because it’s your life and it’s your choices, but
191 00:37:45.450 –> 00:37:54.000 Geetu Bharwaney: That’s what I think would be really helpful. And then you have to let go because of the current situation, it just becomes more stress for ourselves.
192 00:37:54.540 –> 00:38:02.310 Geetu Bharwaney: And then, you know, thirdly, how might you prompt you know new awareness and this is a question that I’m asking myself on a daily basis.
193 00:38:02.760 –> 00:38:14.010 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, how might we prompt and this could be actions were taking and resources that we share or things that we’re bringing up to other people saying no to things.
194 00:38:15.180 –> 00:38:25.050 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, how might you prompt some different awareness is so let me just pause there and just see, Jonathan. Is there something you want to add on any of those before we move into our clothes.
195 00:38:26.730 –> 00:38:33.630 Jonathan Kirschner: To it, this is, this is a very thought provoking and and thought provoking and nothing to add
196 00:38:35.010 –> 00:38:35.490 Geetu Bharwaney: Okay.
197 00:38:36.330 –> 00:38:48.780 Geetu Bharwaney: So, and the additional resources and we have a link and that we’re going to actually Robin. I wonder if he could put the link in the chat at this point. So,
198 00:38:49.230 –> 00:38:59.310 Geetu Bharwaney: And there’s a page that will share with you that has got a whole range of different resources that we put together. So there are
199 00:38:59.820 –> 00:39:06.060 Geetu Bharwaney: A variety of things that there’s access to an emotional resilience awareness survey to which is
200 00:39:06.420 –> 00:39:19.140 Geetu Bharwaney: Completely free for period for anybody on this webinar that wants to actually do the self reflective work it’s around sort of 85 questions and then you get like a summary of
201 00:39:20.100 –> 00:39:25.680 Geetu Bharwaney: How you responded and then, you know, an invitation to think about that. We also
202 00:39:26.130 –> 00:39:36.120 Geetu Bharwaney: Have put together free resources. There’s also an app called stars that I’ve been working on for a period of months, which
203 00:39:36.420 –> 00:39:46.740 Geetu Bharwaney: We’ve decided to make available for free in the app store. It should be launched in a week or so but details of it are also in that resources page.
204 00:39:47.070 –> 00:39:54.480 Geetu Bharwaney: And there may be other things the exercises that we went through earlier are also there is downloads that you can use if you’re a coach, you know,
205 00:39:55.140 –> 00:40:04.890 Geetu Bharwaney: You can use those with your coaching clients but also you might want to use those to work through things yourself. And I think there’s also a short video that colleagues.
206 00:40:05.580 –> 00:40:17.190 Geetu Bharwaney: colleagues in the world, we got together on Monday this week and we just like recorded our all of our tips on virtual working you know just from our own lived experience and
207 00:40:18.330 –> 00:40:32.190 Geetu Bharwaney: You know that’s that’s important as as another aspect of of what we’re doing. So I’m going to turn it back to Jonathan, I think that that’s everything from me. So I’m going to turn it back to you, Jonathan.
208 00:40:32.340 –> 00:40:40.380 Jonathan Kirschner: Key to thinking so much. This is so so helpful and you know has my mind ablaze with ideas, both
209 00:40:41.490 –> 00:40:50.640 Jonathan Kirschner: Ranging from from deep philosophical to very concrete and practical. So thank you so much. We want to take a moment, some time to get some Q AMP a
210 00:40:51.030 –> 00:41:08.040 Jonathan Kirschner: From from those of us who are joining us and Robin’s going to support us on on that. So if you have some questions start thinking now, and begin to put them into the chat. I’ll kick us off with just a question for you get to and I have had the
211 00:41:09.360 –> 00:41:17.760 Jonathan Kirschner: The benefit of reading this in advance and actually attending. But the book launch back in 2015 and
212 00:41:18.450 –> 00:41:32.730 Jonathan Kirschner: There is a skill called shifting that we didn’t cover it. I know you know in a one hour webinar, you can’t boil the ocean. But one of the things that I’ve heard a lot and experienced is sort of getting like just stuck right
213 00:41:33.810 –> 00:41:42.000 Jonathan Kirschner: Whether it’s being in front of the screen. I mean, I think we’re all in front of the screen so much, but at least when you’re in the office, you can walk around and you’re going from meeting to meeting with now.
214 00:41:42.210 –> 00:41:59.970 Jonathan Kirschner: You just sitting in front of the screen and your, your mind gets sort of narrowly focused at times even like a little headache, but how do we get out of this stuff ness. How do we shift out of. I’m just curious if you have any practical tips and you can speak a bit to that skill.
215 00:42:00.390 –> 00:42:15.870 Geetu Bharwaney: Yeah, so when you’re sitting at your desk, to start with, I would say. Make sure both feet are always completely symmetrical and balanced and that your backside is right in the back of your chair.
216 00:42:16.920 –> 00:42:28.830 Geetu Bharwaney: So you’re in a meeting your, your notice noticing that you’re getting frustrated or annoyed the combination of that physical centering as well as making sure that your posture.
217 00:42:29.430 –> 00:42:41.340 Geetu Bharwaney: Is, you know, you’re kind of like ready. That’s a very like quick shift, I would call that and there’s also a resource about doing like a quick body scan.
218 00:42:41.880 –> 00:42:52.650 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, so the quick is like two or three seconds, then there’s like this body scan, which is a bit longer. And there’s also a one minute meditation, a colleague of mine, Isabella
219 00:42:53.010 –> 00:43:06.540 Geetu Bharwaney: And in the world and shared, you know, with me some time ago, we can actually add that to the resources, a one minute meditation, which you do kind of like eyes, kind of like closed.
220 00:43:07.380 –> 00:43:18.420 Geetu Bharwaney: But you do a complete centering and you know shift your attention to the area around the heart. So I would say those kind of three methods of what I would use around shifting
221 00:43:19.080 –> 00:43:36.120 Jonathan Kirschner: That’s fantastic. Yeah. That brings up just the whole notion of body and also something we might not attend to. When we’re in this sort of panic and, you know, maybe a little bit above the appropriate level of stress on that Yorkie thoughts and PR and
222 00:43:36.780 –> 00:43:43.290 Geetu Bharwaney: I she’s known as one of the quotes, I would say. And this is, you know, this is a bit of a family mantra at the moment in the pandemic.
223 00:43:43.950 –> 00:43:56.580 Geetu Bharwaney: We talk about and self care before care. In other words, starting your day with the right setup for your day. So before you know you tackle your kids.
224 00:43:57.060 –> 00:44:05.220 Geetu Bharwaney: Or your home or, you know, emptying the dishwasher. Whatever you do, like, first thing, like in your own home how in your own household
225 00:44:05.850 –> 00:44:18.480 Geetu Bharwaney: Is really thinking about setting yourself up so that your default in the day is that you’re ready. You’re in a ready state. And I think that the combination of that quick shifting, but also the setup is really key.
226 00:44:19.290 –> 00:44:31.140 Jonathan Kirschner: And I would I would concur like that being a general rule, like you’re not if you got to keep clean itself and how are you going to be able to give and and attend to others. But I think particularly now.
227 00:44:31.620 –> 00:44:41.760 Jonathan Kirschner: With the lack of structure the panic, the uncertainty that that that rule that principle is ever more important. So thank you. P to Robin
228 00:44:43.530 –> 00:44:49.710 Jonathan Kirschner: If you’re on the call Robin our chief customer officer at air. Thank you for being here and she’s gonna
229 00:44:51.480 –> 00:45:01.200 Jonathan Kirschner: take some questions from our chat if you do have questions and haven’t put them into the chat yet, please do so. And Robin, I’ma turn over to you to moderate
230 00:45:02.490 –> 00:45:19.380 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Excellent, yeah. Thank you so much. Lots of people have put some questions into the chat and feel free to keep them coming. We’ll get to as many as we can in the next 15 minutes. So here is one key to do you think that this pandemic is making us less resilient or more resilient.
231 00:45:22.770 –> 00:45:25.080 Geetu Bharwaney: I think that’s the million dollar question.
232 00:45:26.640 –> 00:45:35.130 Geetu Bharwaney: And I think that it depends I what I tell you what, what I’m noticing is that I’m noticing some people are doing really well.
233 00:45:35.850 –> 00:45:45.420 Geetu Bharwaney: And I’m missing some people seem to be doing really well in the pandemic, just because I didn’t know there may be some combination of personality traits and
234 00:45:45.750 –> 00:45:51.540 Geetu Bharwaney: You know past things that we brought from past crises and I am noticing that
235 00:45:52.410 –> 00:45:58.860 Geetu Bharwaney: You know where of where some people and you know different clients have mentioned to me like areas that they’re struggling in
236 00:45:59.280 –> 00:46:04.860 Geetu Bharwaney: I think the biggest struggle. I’m picking up and hearing every day is like the big uncertainty.
237 00:46:05.520 –> 00:46:19.020 Geetu Bharwaney: And I think that the big uncertainties fueled a great deal by what’s in the media and I mean a classic you know just from this morning, I was reading the the BBC News, you know about the number of deaths in the UK since yesterday.
238 00:46:19.440 –> 00:46:22.560 Geetu Bharwaney: And then you know you get to like the very bottom, it’s like paragraph.
239 00:46:23.820 –> 00:46:31.680 Geetu Bharwaney: And there’s like a little paragraph that says, oh, and by the way, in a typical year this number of people would die anyway.
240 00:46:33.570 –> 00:46:44.760 Geetu Bharwaney: And so, so then you kind of recalibrate the other things like, oh, it’s like, oh, anxious, anxious, anxious, anxious, anxious, and then I get to this fit. And I go, Oh, okay. It’s another one is
241 00:46:46.080 –> 00:46:52.110 Geetu Bharwaney: You know, designed to bring out all the fear and then it’s kind of not as bad as you think.
242 00:46:52.530 –> 00:47:00.330 Geetu Bharwaney: But I think in this pandemic. It’s really requiring us to distinguish what’s kind of fake news from Real News. What’s
243 00:47:00.750 –> 00:47:12.390 Geetu Bharwaney: And, you know, and I and I mentioned just that one piece, but I think it’s an all media things that are coming out. It’s an old you know it’s in like texts from family members, you have to distinguish all the time.
244 00:47:14.700 –> 00:47:27.210 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Excellent. Thank you. We have a question here from Natalie. She says, What are your recommendations for helping us think through how to sharpen our self awareness with regards to putting ourselves first
245 00:47:28.020 –> 00:47:44.190 Geetu Bharwaney: Yeah, so I think it’s a really good exercise to draw a body map. Now this is an extreme exercise, but it’s a great tool. So what you do is you get a massive sheet of paper.
246 00:47:44.970 –> 00:47:53.550 Geetu Bharwaney: And you actually lie on it and you draw your body like all the way around your body and you stick it on the wall.
247 00:47:54.270 –> 00:48:11.220 Geetu Bharwaney: And you then look at every single aspect of your physical self you know your heart, your brain, your physical body, you know, the fate your face, you know, and you just kind of like write down some key notes about it.
248 00:48:12.120 –> 00:48:26.100 Geetu Bharwaney: And you know, I see it as like an action plan. Like, I remember years ago I never really used to think about my physical kind of self at all. It was like totally not what I was doing or thinking about
249 00:48:26.490 –> 00:48:39.840 Geetu Bharwaney: It really got me thinking about, you know, like what do I really want to want to be and how do I want to be, because I don’t think self care is the same thing for everybody. So that’s what I would you know recommend as a tip.
250 00:48:42.540 –> 00:48:57.810 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Excellent. We have a question here from john. Can you talk a little bit more about affirmations. You mentioned that concept earlier in the presentation and he would like to hear a little bit more about your recommendations for how that work and what people might consider doing
251 00:48:58.350 –> 00:49:05.790 Geetu Bharwaney: Yeah, thanks for the great question affirmations is just my favorite exercise and the whole of the emotional resilience. So
252 00:49:06.270 –> 00:49:22.380 Geetu Bharwaney: Basically you write down these 6050 to 90 things about you and most people when they start you know will say, I don’t think I could even write down 10 things. But once you’ve got your list. And there’s a worked example and the resources you
253 00:49:23.790 –> 00:49:34.350 Geetu Bharwaney: Every interaction that you’re in or you’re about to start. So for example, if I picked three affirmations. You know, I’m confident
254 00:49:34.890 –> 00:49:50.340 Geetu Bharwaney: And calm in a crisis. I’m clear in my communication and I’m authentic if there’s a three of mine. I’m thinking about them. Just before a key meeting and I’m thinking about how I want to show up in
255 00:49:51.000 –> 00:50:07.290 Geetu Bharwaney: Consistency in sync with those affirmations and that specific exercises mentioned in detail and the resources in terms of doing that. And I’d highly recommended. It’s something that I’ve honed and worked with over the years as a as a key coaching tool.
256 00:50:08.280 –> 00:50:20.370 Jonathan Kirschner: I would, I would add, just to that as a leader. One of the things that we can do is be is use the power of affirmations and and just succinct kit. The
257 00:50:20.790 –> 00:50:34.380 Jonathan Kirschner: Words and just continuously reinforce those. So in our, in our team meetings at air a real strong be generous. Those are the three things we need to do, and every team meeting I start that
258 00:50:35.460 –> 00:50:38.370 Jonathan Kirschner: The meeting with those three and I end the meeting with those three
259 00:50:40.170 –> 00:50:53.100 Jonathan Kirschner: For my own self i right I printed a header in my sort of internal documents. So he’s Google documents and on that header. So every page, it’ll show up. Be strong. Don’t let distractions distract
260 00:50:53.520 –> 00:51:06.780 Jonathan Kirschner: The resolute focused and buoyant. That’s it. Just so I see that constantly and it’s just an really helpful grounding heuristic at the personal level. And I think as a leader, we can do that.
261 00:51:08.010 –> 00:51:09.180 Jonathan Kirschner: With our teams as well.
262 00:51:11.160 –> 00:51:23.130 Geetu Bharwaney: Yeah, and Jonathan with that example, an affirmation. So in the I am part that’s in these individuals. So I love the example of, you know, be, you know,
263 00:51:24.120 –> 00:51:36.180 Geetu Bharwaney: So be as an external thing is about, you know, all of us collectively being but that I actually starts to bring it to personal ownership and so
264 00:51:36.660 –> 00:51:41.850 Geetu Bharwaney: That’s what I was distinguished like when we’re writing them down. They’re all I statements.
265 00:51:42.360 –> 00:51:50.940 Geetu Bharwaney: But they’ve got it all be positive statements. So we’re not we’re not naming all us our weaknesses are challenges the things we find difficult
266 00:51:51.630 –> 00:52:03.480 Geetu Bharwaney: Because that is a long list for start you know we’re naming all the things that we do well and I think, then it’s just like owning it. And I love that you put that at the top of documents.
267 00:52:06.060 –> 00:52:16.590 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Thank you. We’ve question here from Megan, it says, How do we communicate our need for self care with others, especially those who constantly need us like our kids.
268 00:52:17.130 –> 00:52:31.050 Geetu Bharwaney: Yes, yes. So, um, I can just share like what what we do in our family, which has definitely learned behavior. We just make sure that there’s always time built in for for, you know,
269 00:52:31.740 –> 00:52:38.280 Geetu Bharwaney: Every parent in the scenario to have some alone time like however you do that because
270 00:52:38.760 –> 00:52:44.640 Geetu Bharwaney: We found over the years that without that time is just so easy to do. But I think it’s done.
271 00:52:45.030 –> 00:52:55.350 Geetu Bharwaney: I’ve learnt and seen with leaders and the whole framework came from, you know, 16 years of like note writing and coaching meetings, looking at what people really struggled with.
272 00:52:55.800 –> 00:53:09.570 Geetu Bharwaney: I think it’s really about just seeing the renewal performance balance if I don’t renew. I can’t actually be my best self and I, as I said, and I’ve learned that the hard way really meant that the hard way.
273 00:53:14.940 –> 00:53:16.110 Jonathan Kirschner: Robin. I think you’re on mute.
274 00:53:17.160 –> 00:53:17.940 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Sorry about that.
275 00:53:19.290 –> 00:53:31.410 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Yes. Okay. So there’s a question here from Joel, it says thank you so much. I love these elements self control is very important. What about control is a broader topic you alluded to this.
276 00:53:32.100 –> 00:53:39.450 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: But finding the situation that there’s a real test of our control impulses, especially for leaders who like to be in control.
277 00:53:40.470 –> 00:53:42.570 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Have any thoughts or recommendations about that.
278 00:53:42.720 –> 00:53:55.920 Geetu Bharwaney: Yes, I think, Joel. That’s the thing that is so kind of like on the money of what the issue is of self control. So, and that that is it’s the key kind of anti
279 00:53:56.580 –> 00:54:00.480 Geetu Bharwaney: Device that is operating all the time that stopped so
280 00:54:01.230 –> 00:54:09.600 Geetu Bharwaney: And I would say that’s that’s that’s good that you have the. It’s great. You have the awareness that that is you know that that’s an opposite of fact.
281 00:54:09.900 –> 00:54:23.400 Geetu Bharwaney: And I do think control is the key thing. It’s really, it’s a key issue and I’m noticing that you know leaders and you know that that I’m in, you know, conversation with about the pandemic.
282 00:54:24.030 –> 00:54:32.280 Geetu Bharwaney: I think there’s a growing, kind of like slow but steady reflection that if control is what’s got us
283 00:54:32.790 –> 00:54:47.460 Geetu Bharwaney: Into strong kind of leadership roles. It’s not control that’s going to get us out of this situation today. So I think you’ve hit on a really key topic and I would love to have you know discussions and ongoing chat about that one as
284 00:54:47.580 –> 00:54:48.930 Jonathan Kirschner: Well, interestingly, this is
285 00:54:50.130 –> 00:55:04.170 Jonathan Kirschner: The best time ever right to to embrace the aphorism, you know, know what you can control and what is outside of your control right this is actually inside in our control right emotional resilience, the things we talked about today, strengthening ourselves.
286 00:55:05.190 –> 00:55:10.650 Jonathan Kirschner: Is somewhat in our control. I mean, I had a board meeting last week and in prep for that meeting.
287 00:55:11.010 –> 00:55:27.060 Jonathan Kirschner: I’m doing, I find myself modeling. I had three, then I’m like, I had a four different scenarios planned out and there’s certain point like this is getting yeah you can tell I’m a little bit of a control, control guy, but at a certain point, right.
288 00:55:27.930 –> 00:55:32.610 Jonathan Kirschner: Is this in the bucket of, you know, can you control when this thing is going to smooth out
289 00:55:33.540 –> 00:55:51.510 Jonathan Kirschner: Or not right. That’s not to downplay the importance of scenario planning, but cognitively emotionally what it can do to you to be trying to control everything and get your arms around it all is is quite overwhelming. At some point, you just have to say, look,
290 00:55:52.830 –> 00:55:56.850 Jonathan Kirschner: This is probably outside of my control. So let me look in focus on what’s within my control.
291 00:55:57.390 –> 00:56:11.010 Geetu Bharwaney: One little adage, I started to put in my mind is that, you know, the antidote to control is collaboration. So whenever I’m in situations with this big uncertainty. And I really think
292 00:56:11.370 –> 00:56:29.040 Geetu Bharwaney: You know that the uncertainty is what’s the potentially biggest disabled of our human kind of strength right now. I think the antidote is, you know, every time I kind of feel that the need to control it, just to then go to collaboration and
293 00:56:30.630 –> 00:56:33.510 Geetu Bharwaney: Yeah, I mean, I’d love to know what others think about that.
294 00:56:36.120 –> 00:56:39.750 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: And then we’ve got a question here from Isabella and then we only have a couple minutes left.
295 00:56:40.890 –> 00:56:45.480 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Can you talk a little bit about how to express difficult feelings constructively.
296 00:56:45.750 –> 00:57:00.480 Geetu Bharwaney: Yeah, I love a four part thing. It’s in my notes, real simple one situation feelings requests impact so you know situation is this, you’ve got coronavirus
297 00:57:01.560 –> 00:57:04.680 Geetu Bharwaney: I’m feeling concerned about that.
298 00:57:05.970 –> 00:57:10.770 Geetu Bharwaney: I’d like to make a request that you consider and it’s got to be tentative
299 00:57:11.430 –> 00:57:24.300 Geetu Bharwaney: You know that you consider sharing the news with others and the positive impact of that will be that others will breathe a sigh of relief because you’ve actually come forth with an honest.
300 00:57:24.750 –> 00:57:36.180 Geetu Bharwaney: Real summary of what’s going on for you and it will elicit compassion from everyone around you. The you’re naming those so that’s that’s what I would have and keep it really short.
301 00:57:38.010 –> 00:57:46.380 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Thank you. And I know we just have two minutes left so good to start with you. And then we can to Jonathan, any final thoughts for our audience today.
302 00:57:47.490 –> 00:57:54.390 Geetu Bharwaney: Well, I’m so grateful that everybody has like given time to this. I know that we haven’t kind of heard
303 00:57:54.990 –> 00:58:07.110 Geetu Bharwaney: I know that those last year there were a couple of people that shared earlier on things that they’re doing, you know, to take care of themselves standing up john mentioned standing up and stretching taking intentional breaks being aware of your breathing.
304 00:58:08.610 –> 00:58:14.970 Geetu Bharwaney: You. You’ve also put a number of resources, you know, from different things that you found valuable.
305 00:58:15.390 –> 00:58:30.960 Geetu Bharwaney: And I really appreciate you know the people is sharing encourage you to share any more suggestions you know in the chat before we close. I’m just grateful. I’m grateful to Jonathan, you know, the air TEAM AND TO YOU. Robin for actually, you know, helping put this together.
306 00:58:32.880 –> 00:58:33.090 Yeah.
307 00:58:34.170 –> 00:58:47.610 Jonathan Kirschner: I’ll just want to share a huge thank you to you get to this was phenomenal. And one thing that really strikes me is yeah admits this turmoil and it is, you know, hands down.
308 00:58:49.410 –> 00:59:03.990 Jonathan Kirschner: On pressing unprecedented in in my lifetime in terms of challenge. Somehow we find ourselves on calls like this where we’re learning new things and the amount of learning that I’ve done.
309 00:59:05.340 –> 00:59:16.350 Jonathan Kirschner: Through adapting but also having these moments, their generosity is completely unexpected and and delightful and so
310 00:59:16.890 –> 00:59:32.520 Jonathan Kirschner: You know, we started this off last week with with Vanessa naps wonderful webinar, where we learned about courage compassion and candor and now we’re here talking about the things we can control if we just exercise.
311 00:59:32.880 –> 00:59:37.530 Jonathan Kirschner: That part of ourselves to our emotions through emotional resilience and so
312 00:59:37.830 –> 00:59:47.580 Jonathan Kirschner: Quite grateful very much looking forward to continuing this air consulting leaning into this whole notion of of generosity.
313 00:59:48.750 –> 01:00:02.280 Jonathan Kirschner: We are going to continue this webinar series. Bringing you the best and most relevant information to help us not just survive and cope, but to also thrive within this this new
314 01:00:03.270 –> 01:00:12.870 Jonathan Kirschner: Within this new context. So again want to thank you to Robin, the whole air team for putting this on think he world that link is now working
315 01:00:13.500 –> 01:00:23.520 Jonathan Kirschner: If you haven’t clicked it and want some of these amazing resources, I would just encourage you to enroll them. Maybe you could just share the link again. So it’s fresh in the chat.
316 01:00:24.930 –> 01:00:38.670 Jonathan Kirschner: wanna encourage you to download some of the free resources and explore the website. Thank you so much. Let’s be real, be strong and be generous. Until next time, everybody be well and be healthy. Thank you.
317 01:00:40.170 –> 01:00:40.650 Robyn Garrett, AIIR Host: Thank you.
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